The New Guy Read online

  He lurched backwards, stung. ‘You think I’d cheat on you?’

  ‘No, no. That’s not what I meant.’ She grabbed his arm and drew him back to her side. He wished he knew whether it was for warmth or the connection. ‘I can’t bear to have another relationship acted out in the office goldfish bowl. The way the last one ended … it was … God, it was humiliating. Excruciating. Bad enough to suffer the pain of a betrayal, but to know everyone knew what had happened. To have to go in each day pretending everything was okay when really I wanted to curl up in a ball and hibernate for the next two years.’ Another shudder ran through her. ‘Work should be a safe haven. A place where you can distract yourself from any pain that might be taking place in your life. I lost that haven. Everywhere reminded me of him. It’s why I agreed to let him keep the apartment. I desperately needed a place to go that held no memories.’

  The anguish in her voice almost did him in. Aching for her, he wrapped an arm around her. When he couldn’t think of anything he could say that would help, he settled for planting a kiss on the top of her head. Soppy, hell, yes. But this woman made him want to be that man. The one who got to share more than a bed with her. The one who got to comfort her.

  Ironic, as she’d just told him he had no chance of doing either.

  As Sam felt his lips press against the top of her head, a surge of warmth, of longing, of hope ran through her. The warmth could be mistaken for the fact his body felt like a furnace but she thought it was tied into pleasure and an unlikely, yet growing, affection. Longing was surely the desire to feel a connection to someone again; for what she’d had with Damien before he’d cruelly trampled all over it. But hope?

  Was she seriously beginning to think she and Ryan could be more than a night of hot sex?

  People don’t need to know.

  The thought bounced wildly through her head. Thrilling, exciting. Scary. Could they have a secret liaison?

  It was something to think about.

  Before she could mull it over any further, a truck with orange flashing lights pulled up next to the Triumph.

  ‘Looks like help’s arrived.’ Ryan stood and glanced down at her. ‘You wait here until we’re ready to go.’ His lips curved in the half-smile she was starting to really enjoy. ‘That’s a polite request, for your own safety.’

  ‘And as it’s polite, I’ll do as you suggest.’

  He raised his eyes heavenwards but as he headed down the slope towards the car, she heard the low rumble of his laughter.

  Twenty minutes later the alternator belt had been replaced and they were on their way again. The noise of the engine made continuing any conversation, never mind one with a subject matter as delicate as the one they’d been discussing, too difficult. It did, however, give her time to think. To wonder about possibilities. If she was to – what had Ryan said? – find out more about him … well, if she was to do that, it wasn’t a decision to be made lightly. Once bitten, twice very flipping wary about starting anything again.

  Except that each time she turned to look at him, she felt a squirmy sensation in her belly. Her mind might be wary, but it seemed her body was willing her to take another chance.

  Finally, he turned the car into her road.

  ‘About your mum,’ she ventured as he pulled up outside her building. ‘If you need some time off to go and see her, take it.’

  ‘That would screw with your deadline, but thanks.’ He cut the engine and immediately the car fell quiet, except for the ever-present sexual tension that hummed between them.

  ‘Well, thank you for the lift.’

  He turned to look at her, his eyes searching her face. ‘That stuff you said about not wanting an office-based affair.’

  Oh boy, where was this heading? ‘Yes.’ Her gaze clashed with his, and her pulse scrambled.

  ‘You agree we’re not in the office right now?’

  She swallowed. ‘I guess so.’

  ‘Good.’ With that his mouth swooped down on hers and he kissed her. He kissed her. Full of heat, of longing, his hands reached to clasp her face as he deepened the kiss and it was all she could do to simply hold on while he swept her away on a tide of sensual desire. Her mind stopped thinking; her body was on fire.

  Slowly he drew back, dropping his hands from her face and giving her a wry smile. ‘I just wanted to see if it was as good as I remembered.’

  Sam struggled to get her breathing under control. ‘And was it?’ No, she shouldn’t have asked. She should have ignored him and got out of the car.

  He let out a long, ragged breath. ‘No. It was better.’

  Pleasure mixed with arousal, mixed with fear. Where was all this taking them? ‘I don’t know what to say,’ she whispered, afraid to encourage, yet also burning with a need to agree with him. To say to hell with being sensible and invite him up to her place to finish what he’d started.

  ‘If I’d known it would shut you up, I’d have done it earlier.’ Abruptly he pushed open his door and hauled his big body out of the cramped interior. Within seconds he was opening her door and reaching to help her out.

  As she clasped his hand, she felt the zing from his touch all the way through her already fevered body. Torn between the desire to pull him towards her and slide her hand under his white shirt, and the desire to flee to the safety of her apartment where she could think, she glanced up at him.

  Immediately she saw his eyes darken, and her breath hitched. ‘Ryan …’

  He exhaled sharply, dragging a hand through his hair. ‘It was just a kiss, Sam. No need to get your knickers in a twist. I’ll go back to pissing you off again tomorrow.’

  His words put a pin in the tension, effectively bursting it, and a bubble of laughter caught in her throat. ‘That isn’t compulsory, you know.’ He gave her one of his precious smiles and she felt another unwanted tug on her heart. Shaking it off, she took a step back. ‘I meant what I said about your mum. If you want to see her—’

  ‘You want this app launched in four weeks. I’ve got a shedload to do. I’ll visit her at the weekend.’ He jammed his hands in his pockets, his expression warning her off discussing it any more.

  ‘Right.’ Yet still she hesitated.

  ‘Sam.’ His voice carried a warning. ‘Unless you want to get kissed again, you need to go.’

  She gulped, her heart in danger of bursting through her chest. ‘Okay.’ On instinct, she stepped forward and kissed his cheek, inhaling a lungful of pure male smell: a dash of pine, a hint of engine oil, a huge dollop of Ryan.

  Surprise shot across his face before his eyes smouldered down at her. ‘Go.’

  The rough command sent need pulsing through her. Hastily, her legs trembling, she dashed up the steps to the front door.

  Chapter 13

  Saturday morning and Ryan climbed gingerly out of the Triumph and slowly straightened his back. He really needed to invest in a decent car. One that didn’t break down, forcing his classy boss to spend an hour sitting on a motorway verge. Though that had provided some unexpected benefits, he thought with a smile, as he remembered their closeness while they’d waited for the breakdown truck. And the following kiss.

  A glance up at the rotting window frames of the semi-detached house he’d parked up outside and he sighed. The car was about seventy-second on the list of things he needed to spend money on. Hauling his bag from the boot he walked up to the front door. After ringing the bell, he cast a cursory eye over the neat front garden, noting with relief the flowerpots bursting with colour and the freshly mown grass. His mum was clearly going through a good patch.

  The door swung open and he stooped down to hug the short, slightly overweight lady with the pretty, lined face who stood in the doorway.

  ‘Ryan.’ His mum’s arms briefly tightened around him before she stepped back and gave him a wobbly smile. ‘I’d almost forgotten what you look like.’

  ‘It’s been nine weeks. I’ve not changed.’

  Her eyes swept over him. ‘You’ve lost weight.’
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br />   Smiling, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. ‘That’s because it’s been nine weeks since I’ve had one of your gut-buster puddings.’

  Her elbow connected with his ribs. ‘Less of the cheek. Now come on in and sit down. You’re making the place look untidy.’

  As they walked towards the living room a tall, slim figure jumped up from the sofa. ‘I was just leaving.’

  Ryan sighed. ‘Hello, Erin.’

  His half-sister said nothing, just looked at him with a bucketload of seventeen-year-old attitude.

  ‘Stay and have a cup of tea with us. Please?’ His mum, ever the peacekeeper, gave her daughter a pleading look. ‘It’s been a while since you’ve seen each other.’

  ‘Not long enough.’ Erin glared at him from hazel eyes that were warm and pretty, when she was looking at anyone else but him. Then she bent to give her mum a kiss. ‘I’m off to Hayley’s. Dunno when I’ll be back.’

  ‘Text me.’

  ‘Yeah, yeah, I know the drill.’ With a flick of her long dark hair, she sauntered out of the room. A second later, the house shook as the front door slammed shut.

  His mum glanced sadly at him. ‘When are you two going to sort this out?’

  ‘It’s not me who has the issue.’

  ‘I know, but maybe if you make the effort to talk to her, she’ll listen.’ His mum’s eyes, hazel like her daughter’s, glistened as she took his hand and led him over to the sofa. ‘You used to get on so well as kids. When she was a baby you’d fuss over her something rotten.’

  ‘I was ten. She was something different to look at.’

  His mum let out a hiss of frustration. ‘Hogwash. You doted on her. And she on you. The moment she learnt to walk she’d follow you everywhere.’

  That, Ryan thought wretchedly, had been a big part of the problem. Erin hadn’t been able to follow him when he’d left home at eighteen to work in Manchester. And she’d never forgiven him for it. ‘Well, now she can’t tolerate being in the same room as me.’ It hurt to say it. Had hurt even more to watch her walk out the moment he’d walked in. ‘If she stays around long enough for me to catch her, I’ll have a word.’ It was a fob-off. He knew very well there was no real hope of it happening.

  ‘Good.’

  She smiled up at him and he studied her carefully. Still attractive, but the eyes weren’t as clear as they should be. The face too hollowed, the skin on her cheeks riddled with small blood vessels, giving her a flushed appearance.

  ‘How are you, Mum?’

  Her eyes darted briefly away from his. As always, she found it hard to look him in the eye when it came to her health. ‘I feel good.’

  ‘Aside from the dizzy spells.’

  ‘Just a bit of angina. Doctor said it’s not unusual.’

  ‘In alcoholics.’

  His voice was clearly harsher than he’d intended because she flinched. ‘I know I am one, Ryan. I’ll always be one. You don’t have to rub it in.’

  Anger burned, at both her and himself. ‘How many times have we been through this? You choose to be one. If you wanted to, you could stop. There are groups that can help you. I can help you. I want to help you.’

  ‘You’re acting like I haven’t tried.’ She became agitated then, shifting around on the sofa and wringing her hands.

  Ryan sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm himself. Getting her worked up never achieved anything. ‘I know you have.’ But just because it didn’t work, doesn’t mean you should bloody give up, he wanted to yell. Had yelled, far too often.

  All it had resulted in was her throwing him out, or retreating into herself, depending on the mood she was in. It had taken a shameful number of years for him to realise he couldn’t bully her into it.

  Seemingly mollified, she finally looked at him again. ‘Enough talk about me. What about this new job?’ A sly smile came over her face. ‘And your new boss.’

  He’d expected the change of topic, just as he’d expected the inquisition. It had been three years since he’d introduced a woman to his mum. Fiona hadn’t turned his life into one giant fluffy marshmallow, or whatever love was supposed to do, but he’d thought they had something. Clearly she hadn’t, because she’d dumped him three months later. Women like to talk, and to share, she’d told him. Seems he was pretty crap at both. ‘Sam’s just that. My boss.’ Maybe if he said it often enough, he’d convince himself.

  ‘She sounded like a real bobby dazzler.’

  He snorted. ‘You can’t tell what a woman looks like from her voice.’

  ‘Maybe not, but what you think she looks like is written all over your face.’ She squeezed his arm. ‘You’ve got a soft spot for her.’

  Ryan leapt to his feet. ‘As a boss, I like her just fine. Now where’s this brew you promised me this morning when I told you I was coming up? You said it would be waiting as soon as I stepped inside.’ His mum wasn’t the only one who knew how to deflect a conversation.

  She rose slowly to her feet, and Ryan tried not to notice the effort it took her. ‘I’ll sort you out a cuppa. But don’t think I haven’t twigged there’s something between you and this Sam lady you’re not telling me about.’

  We had sex before I knew she was going to be my boss. Now all I can think about is having sex with her again. And again. Yeah, he didn’t think his mum was ready for that. ‘There’s nothing going on.’ It was pretty much the truth. Except that he’d kissed her after giving her a lift home, and she’d seemed as into it as he’d been. But also as conflicted, he reminded himself as he recalled the way she’d hesitated outside her place, her eyes swirling with fear, with desire, and a tonne of other emotions he couldn’t begin to guess at because, unlike him, Sam hadn’t just shared a bed with her ex. They’d shared a life.

  Sam spent the weekend entertaining her parents. Entertaining was probably too strong, but as they’d made the effort to drive all the way from Cornwall to see their daughter, she thought it only fair she gave them her undivided attention. Which meant for once, she put her laptop away.

  Saturday had been spent doing a little shopping down the Fulham Road (to please her mum) and the Science Museum (to please her dad). Sunday they’d spent walking round the Serpentine. Now they were back at hers, pleasantly tired and more than a little hungry.

  ‘What would you like me to make you for dinner?’

  ‘Oh.’ Her dad coughed and stared at her mum. ‘We don’t want you to go to any trouble, do we, Helen. Why don’t we eat out?’

  ‘Yes, good idea.’ Her mum gave her a too-wide smile. ‘Let us treat you.’

  Sam eyed them both suspiciously. ‘You don’t want me to cook for you again, do you?’

  ‘Nonsense.’ Her mum’s reply was too fast to be believable. ‘The lasagne you made last night was very nice. Just a tad on the runny side.’

  Her dad spluttered out a laugh. ‘It was soup. Our girl’s an amazing businesswoman but she can’t cook for toffee.’

  ‘Thanks.’ It was hard to act hurt when she knew she totally sucked in the kitchen. ‘I’ll focus on the amazing bit and suggest we leave cooking dinner to the pub across the road.’ It would be the first time she’d gone back there since the night she’d met Ryan.

  A night that stuck stubbornly, and vividly, to her mind, refusing to fade no matter how hard she tried to shake it off.

  The pub was busy when they arrived. As Sam sat with her parents in a booth at the back, she couldn’t help glancing at the bar. She told herself it was to make sure to avoid Ryan if he came in. Introducing her parents to her one-night stand, the same man she was pinning all her business hopes on, and the one she was considering having a hot secret affair with, wasn’t something she was ready for.

  She froze as a broad-shouldered male wearing a white T-shirt and black jeans strode through the door. A pair of dark eyes flicked round the room before landing on hers. He gave her a small crooked smile before heading towards the bar.

  ‘Shit.’

  Her mum reached across the table and touched her ha
nd. ‘What’s wrong?’

  Sam struggled to hear her above the wild beating of her heart. ‘Nothing.’ Because that was clearly untrue, she shook her head. ‘What I meant is nothing important. I’ve just seen our new software developer walk in. It’s always a bit embarrassing seeing people outside work.’

  ‘Nonsense. You go out with Becky and Lucas all the time.’

  ‘Sure, Mum, because we’re friends.’ Sam didn’t know what she and Ryan were, but it wasn’t friends.

  ‘Which one is he?’ Her mum was angling her head, totally uncaring how obvious she was. ‘The one with the dark hair, white T-shirt and big muscles?’ Her eyes dropped down. ‘Ooh, and rather delightful bum.’

  ‘Mum!’ Mortified, Sam put her head in her hands. ‘How would you feel if Dad objectified one of my female employees like that?’

  Her dad cleared his throat. ‘Well said. For the record, I only have eyes for your mother.’

  Her mum burst out laughing. ‘Okay, okay. I was just admiring from afar, that’s all. I may be old, but I’m not blind.’

  Just then Ryan glanced in their direction. To Sam’s utter embarrassment, her mother waved. And then signalled him to come over.

  ‘Oh my God, Mum.’

  ‘What’s wrong? We’ve met your other employees.’

  It was true. Last time her parents had come to visit they’d popped into the office to say hello. But still.

  ‘Besides.’ Her mum bent towards her. ‘I want to meet the man whose presence has brought a blush to my daughter’s cheeks.’

  Sam swallowed, feeling those same cheeks now burning. There were times she hated being a redhead.

  ‘Sam.’ Ryan nodded towards her, amusement dancing in the dark depths of his eyes. He knew very well she was hating every minute of this.

  ‘Ryan.’ She smiled tightly. ‘Meet my parents, Robert and Helen. They’re visiting from Cornwall. Mum, Dad, this is Ryan. Our new software developer.’

  Ryan stuck out his hand to shake first her dad’s hand and then her mum’s.