Up Close and Personal Read online

  Debs blinked. ‘So?’

  ‘So, I wish I hadn’t. He didn’t deserve that gift. He bragged about it at school the next day and I got myself a reputation I hadn’t bargained on.’ Seventeen years later and the taunts, the jeers, were still vivid. ‘He didn’t care about me, only about getting his end away.’

  ‘Yeah, well, you’re just salty ’cos he turned out to be a dick.’

  ‘Salty?’

  Debs raised her eyes to the ceiling. ‘Duh. Angry. Bitter.’

  ‘Yes, I’m angry he was a dick, but when I was your age I didn’t realise that. I thought he cared about me because that’s what he told me.’ She placed a hand on her niece’s arm. ‘Now I know if he had truly cared about me, he wouldn’t have pushed.’ Debs blinked again, and this time Kat was sure she saw tears in her niece’s eyes before she quickly averted them. ‘Debs, is someone pushing?’

  ‘Maybe.’ She choked on the word and then let out a sob, tears spilling from her eyes and pouring down her cheeks.

  Her heart bursting, Kat shuffled up the bed and held her in her arms. ‘Hey, shh. It’ll be okay.’

  ‘I wish Mum was here,’ Debs mumbled against her shoulder, her voice breaking.

  ‘I know you do. But she’d be so proud of you for not giving in to this boy. For waiting until it really feels right for you, not for him.’

  Debs clung to her until the sobs quietened. Then, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she gave Kat a watery smile. ‘Sorry for being a bitch.’

  ‘And I’m sorry for shouting at you.’

  She sniffed, her eyes not meeting Kat’s. ‘Do you reckon Zac heard any of that stuff?’

  Kat smiled and kissed the top of her head. ‘Of course not. He’s downstairs cooking dinner.’

  Chapter 16

  Kat wanted him, but only for a quick fling. And she didn’t want that enough to risk losing her job.

  The thought rankled as Zac sat next to her in today’s hire car, an Audi, pretending to go through his lines on the way to the studio. It seemed he didn’t actually need to go through them ten times to know them. Four was quite enough.

  ‘Will we be allowed to watch any filming?’ Debs’s voice piped up from the back seat.

  ‘The director says yes, but we’ll have to confiscate your phones before we go in. Security is pretty tight on set.’

  ‘OMG, that’s so cool. The class are like so excited. I thought Miss was going to faint when I told her about it.’

  Miss, who Zac understood was Mary Worthing, would be meeting them at the studio with fifteen of Debs’s classmates. It’s fair to say Jerry Collier had been less than impressed at Zac’s offer to show a school drama class round. Since everyone on set, including the director, had been happy to allow it, Collier had finally relented, though not without an unsubtle dig. Better make sure none of them turn up to stalk you later. As if it was Zac’s fault this woman was stalking him.

  There were times he wondered if it was. In trying to be who he was expected to be, had he inadvertently led her to think he liked her? When he’d been shown the photofit, he couldn’t even recall seeing her at the party. Yet she’d obviously felt so … upset? Hurt? So angry he’d chosen Hannah over her that she’d decided to stalk him?

  The thought settled uneasily on him.

  As they turned into the studio, Kat slowed, her eyes darting between the rear-view mirror and ahead.

  ‘What is it?’

  She shook her head. ‘Nothing.’

  ‘But?’

  ‘But, there’s been a car following us for the last few miles, and I’m sure it had a female driver, though it’s hard to say. Damn thing kept so far away I couldn’t even make the number plate.’ When he snapped his head round to take a look, she added, ‘It turned off.’

  ‘Okay.’ He exhaled the breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding and received a questioning look.

  ‘Are you alright?’

  ‘Of course.’ The lie slipped from his tongue like one of the lines he’d been learning. Knowing his stalker wasn’t an over-eager fan but a woman who believed she’d been snubbed, a woman who might want to do him harm, scared the shit out of him. Not, of course, that he was going to admit it to Kat.

  Kat slotted the Audi into a space by the entrance to the main admin building and the three of them walked inside where they were met by a group of overly excited fourteen-year olds. And a young teacher with big baby-blue eyes who couldn’t stop thanking him.

  ‘Really, this is so, so kind of you. The class has talked of nothing else since they found out they were coming.’

  ‘It’s my pleasure,’ Zac told Mary Worthing for the third time, giving her his trademark smile. ‘Sally,’ he nodded towards the studio guide, ‘will take you round because she knows far more about what goes on here than I do. When she’s finished, she’ll bring you to the set we’re currently using, and the class can watch for a short while. If they’ve not had enough by then.’ He flashed another smile.

  ‘Oh, of course they’ll want to see that. Watching you in action is the highlight.’ She must have realised how that sounded, because she blushed.

  ‘I hope I won’t disappoint then, Mary.’

  ‘I’m sure you could never disappoint.’

  There went that blush again. To save them both any further embarrassment, Zac waved over to Sally. ‘I think everyone is ready for their tour.’

  As the giggling group headed off – following many surreptitious, and a few glaringly obvious glances in his direction – Zac exhaled in relief.

  ‘You’re such a flirt.’ Kat rolled her eyes. ‘I bet Miss Worthing hasn’t blushed that many times since she was at school, though from the look of her it wasn’t that long ago.’

  The thought of his stalker flashed through his mind. ‘I wasn’t flirting.’

  ‘Sure you weren’t. I hope I won’t disappoint.’

  Kat fluttered her eyelids at him, clearly expecting him to laugh, but for once he didn’t find her funny. ‘I was trying to be nice.’

  The amusement in her eyes faded. ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’

  ‘Nothing’s wrong.’ He straightened his shoulders. ‘I need to get on set.’

  ‘Then we’ll go. As soon as you tell me what’s bugging you.’

  ‘You’re not in charge here. If I want to walk to the set, I will.’

  ‘You’ll have to get through me, first.’ She planted herself in front of him. Five foot six to his six foot three, yet the determined set of her jaw, the fire in her eyes, were reminders that if she wanted to, she was quite capable of taking him down. ‘Are you regretting offering to show Debs round?’

  ‘Of course not.’

  She gave him a shrewd look. ‘Then it’s about the woman stalking you, isn’t it?’ Dark eyes searched his and Zac found it hard to look away. ‘What are you thinking? What’s got your boxers in a twist?’

  ‘Christ.’ He managed to drag his gaze away from hers. ‘Please leave my underwear out of this. I can promise you, nothing’s in a twist.’

  He could almost see the cogs in her brain sliding over each other. ‘We now know for certain Miss Lipstick was a waitress at the party,’ she mused. ‘And we also know she wasn’t happy that you chose Hannah to go back with, so we can assume she’s no longer a fan, but a woman with a grudge. Just now you got all panicked when I suggested you’d flirted with the teacher.’ Kat let out a long, drawn-out breath. ‘Bloody hell. You think it might be your fault you’ve got a stalker, don’t you?’

  ***

  Kat’s heart went out to the man standing in front of her. On the outside, a glossy film star, cool, unruffled, smooth. But inside, a surprising tangle of insecurities.

  His eyes avoided hers. ‘It’s time I was on set.’

  ‘Not until you look at me.’ A pair of wary green eyes settled slowly on hers. ‘It is not, I repeat not, your fault that Lipstick Lady is stalking you. She’s clearly deranged.’

  ‘Clearly.’

  Kat sighed and began to walk towar
ds the exit. ‘FYI, the way you were with Mary, that was charming. Don’t stop being charming.’

  ‘Charming, huh?’

  She tried not to smile. ‘Some people call it that, yes.’

  ‘And you? What would you call it?’

  Instantly her pulse kicked up a gear. A moment ago she’d been – yes, okay, she was big enough to admit it – she’d been annoyed to see him flirt with someone who wasn’t her. Now he was back to flirting with her, and she didn’t know how to handle it. ‘It doesn’t matter what I think.’

  He made a noise of frustration. ‘You know that’s not true. What you think is starting to matter to me more than almost anything else.’

  ‘It shouldn’t.’ Panic bubbled inside her. ‘It can’t.’

  He gave her a humourless smile. ‘If only it was that easy. Flick the switch, turn off the feelings.’ They reached the door and he inclined his head. ‘After you, I believe.’

  He said nothing more on the way to the set, and for once Kat was out of conversation. It was becoming alarmingly clear that no matter how much she tried to pretend it wasn’t happening, this attraction wasn’t disappearing. Instead it was growing, on both sides.

  And her refusal to acknowledge it was starting to really piss him off.

  ***

  Two hours later, Kat stood with the class at the back of the huge stage, unable to take her eyes off Zac. The assistant director had explained they were filming an early scene, where Zac’s character meets his love interest – played by Sophia Layton – for the first time, in a bar. Zac had changed into a pair of faded jeans, tough cowboy boots and a tight-fitting white T-shirt. Something the girls around her definitely appreciated, from the gasps and giggles when he walked on set.

  As for her, it turned out she wasn’t able to turn off her feelings, despite her desperate need to do exactly that. She found it impossible not to look at him, and not to want. The same magnetism that had drawn her to him at their first encounter, when she’d spilt champagne over him, was now vividly alive on set. It meant it was hard, really bloody hard, to watch him flirt with Sophia … to see him kiss her. It seemed too real. She knew exactly how it felt to have those lips on hers, so to see him place them on another woman’s mouth, was excruciating. Especially as she knew that woman was after him for real. The urge to run onto the set and shout stop. To push them apart, put the actress in a headlock …

  Yep, she was losing her mind over the man.

  Finally, finally, the director announced cut.

  Mary, who’d been standing beside her, let out a wistful sounding breath. ‘He’s quite something to watch, isn’t he?’

  Kat felt like a tigress, slowly drawing in her claws. ‘He certainly is.’

  Mary’s eyes drifted back to Zac. ‘But it’s not just about acting, is it?’

  ‘Sorry?’

  ‘To make it onto the big screen you have to have that something extra, don’t you? A star quality, I guess people call it. A gloss, an aura.’ She laughed. ‘Oh God. I sound giddier than my pupils.’ She slid Kat a smile. ‘I understand from Debs that you’re his bodyguard. Maybe when you’re around him all the time, you become used to it.’

  At that moment Zac glanced over, his eyes coming to rest on Kat. He didn’t smile, didn’t do anything other than hold her gaze for a few humming seconds before turning back to talk to the director.

  Kat felt Mary staring at her, and when she turned, the teacher gave her a knowing smile. ‘Or perhaps the aura becomes more potent.’

  ***

  Zac’s filming went on into the early evening. Debs and the class had long since gone. When he messaged to say it would be a late finish, Kat went home and threw together a corned beef hash – go her, she knew how to cook for a film star – before deciding to pick Debs up for a change.

  ‘I would’ve come straight home,’ Debs protested when she climbed into the Jeep.

  ‘I’m not picking you up for that reason. Zac’s working late, so I have some free time.’

  She screwed up her face. ‘Is that because of us? Did we put him behind schedule?’

  Kat hadn’t even thought about that possibility. ‘I’m sure it’s not. Even if it was though, it was his choice to invite you.’

  Debs gave her a look, a devil-like gleam in her eyes. ‘You know he only did it to impress you, right?’ Kat felt her cheeks heat, which was enough to send her niece into fits of laughter. ‘OMG, Kat. He fancies you and you fancy him. I know it.’

  Kat spent the rest of the journey assuring Debs there was no fancying being done on either side, though from the twinkle that persisted in her niece’s eyes, she wasn’t sure she’d convinced her.

  Hardly surprising, considering she hadn’t convinced herself.

  Now it was eight o’clock, and she was back at the studio to pick Zac up. He was freshly showered and giving off too many pheromones for her weakened state.

  He was also, she noted as he stared straight ahead when she climbed into the driver’s seat, still upset with her. What you think is starting to matter to me more than almost anything else. His shocking words had circulated through her head on a loop all afternoon. Couldn’t he see she needed to keep him at arm’s length to do her job? The thought of her failing again, of taking her eye off the ball for that split second … her hand trembled as she put the car into gear. Damn, she couldn’t afford to be thinking like this.

  Nor could she afford for him to wriggle any further under her skin. Her heart was damaged, she was damaged. There were far easier women for him to throw his undeniable charms at.

  ‘I made a corned beef hash for dinner,’ she said finally into the silence. Then cringed. She sounded like his wife.

  ‘Next you’ll be telling me you ran me a bath.’

  ‘Only showers in our place. Sorry.’

  ‘As if that was the only thing stopping you.’

  Her hands gripped tighter to the steering wheel. ‘Please, can we just get back to the way things were.’

  ‘And what way was that?’ She felt the intensity of his stare. ‘You pretending not to want me? You kissed me back, remember.’

  God, she did remember. All too clearly.

  As she dug around for a suitable reply, the sound of his phone echoed round the car.

  ‘Saved by the bell,’ he murmured, staring down at the caller ID. ‘Excuse me, I need to take this.’

  He greeted whoever was calling with a smooth hello, but after that, there was silence. And when she pulled up at a red light and glanced sideways at him, his face had drained of colour.

  ‘What is it? What’s wrong?’

  After uttering a faint, ‘I can’t talk right now, I’ll call you back,’ to whoever had called, Zac slowly slid the phone back into his pocket. ‘Nothing that concerns you.’ He turned to her, his expression tight. ‘As your client,’ his emphasis of the word sliced right through her, ‘I believe I’m entitled to a modicum of privacy, at least.’

  Chapter 17

  The moment he bit out the words, Zac regretted them. Still smarting from Kat’s continued need to push him away, snapping at her had been an instinctive reaction, but also a mean one. She might not want him as he wanted her, but he thought she did at least like him, and wasn’t finding this any easier than he was.

  The call from Helena had blindsided him though, and he simply couldn’t cope with Kat’s concern right now. It would take all of his focus, all of his strength just to keep it together until he could make it into the four walls of Mandy’s room, shut the door, and phone Helena back to get the full, gut wrenching picture. After that …

  He drew in a sharp breath and let his head fall back against the headrest. One step at a time.

  At least his being a sod to Kat had, for once, shut her up. Knowing he’d upset her gnawed at his insides, but he was incapable of even the most banal conversation right now.

  ‘Would you like me to heat up the corned beef hash?’ she asked with cool politeness as they walked into the house.

  ‘No … tha
nks.’ The thought of eating made his stomach churn. ‘I need to make a call.’

  Very aware of her eyes on him, he dashed up the stairs and into the room he’d temporarily commandeered.

  ‘Helena.’

  He sounded breathless and didn’t know whether it was from the flight of stairs, or the fear currently clawing at his insides.

  ‘Zac, dear, I’m so sorry to be the bearer of such awful news. The liaison officer was trying to reach you, but I told them I would pass the information on.’

  ‘It’s okay, what did they say?’

  ‘He’s going to be released early. They couldn’t give a date yet, all they could say was his release had been approved.’

  Fuck.

  He sunk into the bed, weighed down by a wave of hopelessness. His carefully crafted life was about to get smashed wide open.

  ‘We don’t know what his frame of mind will be,’ Helena said softly. ‘He’s been in prison for nearly twenty years. It’s bound to have changed him. He probably won’t even want to look for you.’

  ‘Perhaps.’ But the thought that he might, had plagued Zac for years. Hell, when he’d started receiving the notes, signed in pink lipstick, for God’s sake, his paranoia had been so acute, his first thought had been that the bastard was somehow behind them.

  ‘Even if he does want to search you out,’ Helena continued in that same calm tone, ‘twenty years has definitely changed you. You even have a different name, Zac. He won’t recognise you. With luck, he’ll live the rest of his life without troubling you.’

  With luck. He wasn’t sure how much he had left in supply. His whole career was based on luck; the right place at the right time, with the right director. God knows, twenty years was a long time though. Long enough for his life to have changed beyond all recognition.

  ‘Darling, you need to push it to the back of your mind for now. For all we know, there’ll be a change of mind or circumstance and he won’t get released after all.’ Zac wasn’t sure she believed her own words, but he appreciated her trying. ‘Now, tell me how the filming’s going?’

  ‘It’s going fine,’ he answered, grateful for the change in topic. ‘We’re on track, which is a major plus.’